Nonfiction November

NONFICTION NOVEMBER: Week 3 – In Search of Growth

Nonfiction NovemberWelcome to another post in the Nonfiction November series. For those of you new to this, Nonfiction November is hosted by Katie at Doing Dewey, Rennie at What’s Nonfiction?, Julie at Julz Reads, Kim at Sophisticated Dorkiness, and Sarah at Sarah’s Book Shelves.

If you haven’t read my previous post in the series yet, you can find Week 1 – My Year in Nonfiction post here – and Week 2 – Fiction with Nonfiction Book Pairing here.

Today’s topic is Be The Expert/Ask the Expert/Become the Expert and is hosted by Kim at Sophisticated Dorkiness

There are three ways to join in this week – we can either share 3 or more books on a single topic that we have read and can recommend (be the expert), we can put the call out for good nonfiction on a specific topic that we have been dying to read (ask the expert), or we can create your own list of books on a topic that we’d like to read (become the expert).

I’ve decided to roll up my sleeves and look at the topic, that is, as a life coach, very close to my heart. I feel I have read a lot of books on this topics but I’d like to read more books as well. So I’m mixing Be the Expert with the Ask the Expert categories.

Today, I would like to talk about Growth and why I firmly believe in the “it’s not about the goal but rather about the journey” concept.

I feel we live in times, when we talk a lot about achievements. Don’t take me wrong – I don’t want to dismiss them or downplay them. Achievements start bothering me when the outcome becomes the only thing ‘that matters’. When all that discomfort, courage and grind that lies behind them gets overlooked. When the primary focus is on the result, rather than its process.

I firmly believe that behind any self-development is a strong desire to grow.

But when we talk about growth, I guess the important part is how we approach it. In other words:

  1. do we want to grow become we believe we are not good enough and are hoping that if we grow, we may become someone else and will feel better
  2. or do we want to grow because we want to be uncomfortable and enjoy the process, rather than its outcome.

Those two different categories indicate from which place we approach growth, the first one is coming from a fear mindset – i.e. I need to change, I’m afraid they don’t like who I am, I am not good enough, have not enough, do enough…

The second category comes from an abundance mindset. We believe we have enough and are enough but also feel that we can still go after our dreams, face our fears, be uncertain / vulnerable, let people in – in other words, we are happy to be uncomfortable and face all emotions that come with it.

Deciding how to approach growth is critical. I always tell myself: “I will grow because I want to, not because I feel I need to.” This simple sentence can shift my own mentality profoundly.

My favourite question to ask myself is: “who am I becoming in this process“? Let’s think about it. It’s a very direct question that prompts us to look for growth and how it shapes us.

I also agree with Tony Robbins, who once said: “All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.” Without discomfort, there is no growth. And without growth, there is no story to tell. At least that’s what I believe in.😊

Which books would I recommend on this subject? I’m glad you asked!

Brené BrownDaring Greatly , Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness

“…sometimes when we are beating ourselves up, we need to stop and say to that harassing voice inside, “Man, I’m doing the very best I can right now.” ” ~  Brené Brown

Tim Ferriss: Tools of Titans

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” ~ Tim Ferriss

Martha N. Beck: Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured.” ~ Martha N. Beck

Byron Katie: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.” ~Byron Katie

Elizabeth Gilbert: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

“You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Susan David: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life 

“Emotions are data, they are not directives” ~  Susan David

Rob Bell: How to Be Here

“It’s important to embrace several truths about yourself and those around you, beginning with this one: who you AREN’T isn’t interesting.” ~ Rob Bell

That’s just a few of my favourite books. There are many more but also, there are even more I am yet to read! So many books, so little time! 😊

Now over to you.

Fancy sharing some of your favourite books about growth and self-development with me?

As always, I would love to know!





11 thoughts on “NONFICTION NOVEMBER: Week 3 – In Search of Growth”

  1. I like this quote: “who you AREN’T isn’t interesting.” It made me think of all the people who complain about their weight, how if they were just X pounds smaller, they would be a “good person.” These conversations are SO BORING.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I also think that who we aren’t can sometimes be all we focus on, rather than who we actually are.
      I can beat myself up for not being tall or certain age anymore… as you said, listening to that can become rather tiring for my audience but also, doesn’t serve me as I can not grow from that place at all.
      Thanks for stopping by, I always cherish your comments.


  2. I don’t have any recommendations, as I haven’t read anything since, maybe, university, along these lines. But I do agree that it should be about the journey, and whether or not you reach the goals set, or whatever the end result is, shouldn’t over shadow the effort put in along the way.

    People can become obsessed with goals, both personally for themselves and for others. And therein can lie a path to self hate, doubt and loathing. I didn’t lose X pounds, I didn’t do X sit ups, I didn’t finish my degree. When, in truth, does that really matter? We should be asking what did I achieve along the way? What lessons have I learnt, if any? What can I do to improve, if need be.

    And I’m sorry to say I disagree with Grab The Lapels, if others are so boring to her because they talk about their weight (among other things) then don’t hang around them. But certainly, don’t denigrate them, and certainly not online. You know nothing of their life or what they’re going through. Just my personal 2 cents worth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Such a valid point about obsession! There’s a very thin line between passion and obsession.

      I also think that what we make our goals mean equals everything. For example when my goals become about who I am as a person, rather than the outcome of it, then all of sudden I start standing on a very fragile and slippery ground as anything that moves me away from that goals will cause havoc with my emotions and shame in general.

      I can not speak on Melanie’s behalf but can say what I saw in that comment: I saw behind it a fact that sometimes, people become so wrapped in what they are not, that they forget what they actually are – and that is more than enough. I fell into this a very long time ago myself thinking constantly: ‘I’m not this, I’m not that’, which put strain on some of my friendships because I was a very difficult person to be around as all I cared about was ‘me, me, me’. 😦 Needless to say I was very young and did learn. We all struggle and this is not to downplay our difficult times, it’s important to support those that suffer and let them know we are there for them. But there’s also a point when a shift in our mentality needs to happen in order for it to serve us.

      I appreciate your 2 cents, it’s always great to discuss and have a conversation!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree with you about the journey. I read these books a lot probably to help control my anxiety let me tell myself I have a grip on things but recommendations? Truth be told, I draw a blank. So I will check out some of yours. I’ve long been meaning to get to Brene Brown!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As somehow who has been at anxiety’s deep end myself, I know how hard that journey up can be and how much it sucks sometimes. ❤️ It is the journey but sometimes it’s really hard. I’ve created a trusted support network that helps me and cheers me on whenever I need help. But mainly, I finally learned to ask for help – in the past, that was something I really somehow struggled with.

      I know I keep on going about Brené Brown’s book a lot – now I’m actually getting nervous that people may not like them as I’m perhaps building up a hype around them. 😳😊 I believe in Brown’s work though and Daring Greatly is amongst my fav books to date. Crossing my fingers you enjoy them if you read them one day. 😊


  4. So agree that it’s about the journey! It’s so important to look at self development and not simply at achievements. I really like the quotes from Tim Ferris and Martha N Beck 🙂 And I really think “emotions are data, not directives” is a powerful message. Really like how you did this post!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! ❤️
      I really recommend Tim’s podcast as well – he is a very skilled interviewer and has had many interesting people on his show. 😊


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