Welcome to the ‘Chitter-Chatter‘ series. I’m so glad you are here. ❤
In case you have missed previous posts in this series, we are still talking about:
- To-Be-Read lists and how to manage them
- Reading Challenges and how to feel comfortable at failing them
- and how to feel better during Reading Slumps
- and how our values may explain why we enjoy blogging
In today’s Chitter-Chatter series, I would like to chat about setting goals. Before I do that, let’s start with the more vs. less concept.
Do you sometimes feel you need to or should do more?
When applied to the blogging community: do you feel you should read more books, write more posts, engage with more bloggers, have more social media platforms…?
If you have been following my blog for a while, you may know that I call myself a minimalist.
Minimalists like to talk about less being more. I know, it is an oxymoron. But when we think about what is behind ‘less‘ – it may start making sense.
As an example: if I want ‘less’ things, I may be able to work ‘less’ hours as I need to earn ‘less’ money and therefore have ‘more’ non-working time to spend.
Even though I fully believe in less being more, I still notice that need for more sometimes lurking in dark corners of my mind and when I don’t keep an eye of it, it starts making its way to the surface.
Recently, I have noticed a shift in my mentality about blogging. I started to feel I needed to do more.
I felt I needed to read more. And write more, visit more blogs, and generally make more of an effort. Do you notice how exhausting it sounds?
And do you know what’s interesting about it? That nobody told me so. It all came from me – those were my own expectations I ruthlessly put upon myself.
We may set goals for different reasons:
- We may set them because frankly, we want to. We are in a state of ‘happy dissatisfaction’ with a mindset full of abundance, kindness and love and want to evolve.
- Or we can also set them because we may feel we ‘lack something’. This mindset is about scarcity.
The first category makes us feel content with failing, the second category hates failing. The first category promotes self-love and self-compassion, the second one fear and shame. The first category wants us to do something, not because how we are hoping to feel afterwards, but because it is something we are interested in doing. The second category is all about how we will feel afterwards… and the answer is: we are hoping we will feel better than how we are feeling right now.
Brooke Castillo did an entire podcast on ‘goal setting’ in which she talks about how we could set goals we have already achieved alongside those that we are still hoping to achieve. It’s absolutely fantastic and you can listen to it here.
The first time I heard it, I thought: ‘Whaaat? Why would I set goals I have already completed? Isn’t that a bit counter-intuitive’?
Thinking about it for some time led me believe that setting those goals we have achieved, alongside those, we are yet to achieve, not only shifts our mentality into that first category, but also enables us to want less as our goal list is already partially complete.
Okay, it may be a bit abstract, let’s pick an example:
Let’s say I want to write three posts a week and make this my current blog goal.
I can also want to ‘have a blog’ (which I have) and find a group of people on blogosphere I enjoy interacting with (which I have found and am extremely grateful for).
Looking at it this way, I have already achieved two of my three goals. And it feels good. Side note: those two goals are something I very much wanted at some point. And I have achieved them. I included them because they once were something I truly desired.
Wishing for something using an example above makes me feel like I am not lacking anything, but rather have an abundance of opportunities in my life.
If I don’t achieve my three posts a week goal, I won’t make it mean all about me because I have already achieved those other two goals… do you see what is happening here? I have three goals and my goal list doesn’t feel short, I have also achieved two of those so I am not feeling stressed about the incomplete goal.
You may argue that this way, you will achieve less. I politely disagree. I think wanting something, which we already have, ensures we are likely not to give up when things become challenging.
I also think it may reduce our overall anxiety and feelings of: ‘there’s so much to do, I don’t know what to do first, I’m so busy, I am so overwhelmed’…. As these can result into us not taking any actions at all. I usually start procrastinating whenever I am thinking those thoughts.
I believe that wanting something we already have can also help us start cultivating gratitude. And gratitude could invite inner peace.
Do you feel like there is just so much to do and you don’t know what to do first?
How about you chose the most important goal you currently have and add a few goals to your goal list, that you once really wanted to accomplish, and which you have achieved?
You don’t need to pick one incomplete goal nor use the 1:2 ratio. It’s completely up to you. We are all different.
Trying this experiment may be fun and if you do decide to give it a go, please let me know. I would love to cheer you along! 🙂
My parting comments are following: we can all feel sometimes that we need more. But I wholeheartedly believe that the answer is always less.
- What do you think of the ‘wish for something you already have’ concept?
- And do you also sometimes feel like you need to do ‘more’?
- And what do you think about minimalism? 🙂
As always, I would love to know what you think. I do appreciate all your comments.